Wednesday, August 17, 2011

So much to share!!!

It has been forever! So much has happened and developed since the last time I posted. For starters one of my birthmother's sisters (my aunt) contacted me on facebook and let me know she was going to be in my area and wanted to meet me!! It was such a great experience, she was so sweet. We got to spend about 2 1/2 hours together and there was never a lull in the conversation. We talked about so much stuff it was just like talking to a family member that I have grown up and seen all my life. We talked about my adoption, we talked about her life and mine, it was so awesome.
In other news, I was attempting to show my mother-in-law my birthfather's facebook page to show her some of our similarities and discovered that he has deleted, or at least blocked me from any access to his facebook. I was a little shocked and surprised, but I am doing okay with it. I have realized through this process that I have an amazing father, father-in-law, uncles and cousins that would do anything for me and be here in a heart beat if I called. I think it is just confusing because all I wanted was information and he went to such extremes. That is all I have time to post right now. I will let you know how this journey continues.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Donald Miller

This man is an amazing writer! My girl's Bible Study is currently reading his book "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years". It talks about writing a better story with your life. In the book it speaks about Mr. Miller locating his father. He was not adopted, but his father and mother divorced when he was young and Mr. Miller hadn't seen his father for 30 years and decided to locate him. We read and discussed the section tonight about Mr. Miller making contact with his father. It was great to read this because I was able to relate. He spoke about driving 6 hours to meet his father and not thinking of a single question to ask him. I was telling my group tonight that I remember in the weeks and days leading up to making contact with my birthmother and coming up with all the questions I wanted to ask and have answered and then when she called all those questions didn't matter and all that did was that she was willing to talk to me. I realized that I am not alone in the journey I am on.
In other news I still have not heard from my birthfather. I am still strangely okay with this. I am amazed at how my birthmother's family has reached out to me and communicate with me. They are excited for me when I am excited and they are concerned for me when they know I am hurt or struggling. I appreciate them for reaching out to me and being willing to ge to know me. Life is good and my adventure continues.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Attempted contact

So I took the next step. I attempted to contact my birthfather on 2/11/11. I sent him a similar message as I did to my birthmother. To date I have not received a response. After a week I felt sad, now it is what it is. I don't need him, I have a daddy. I just wanted information. I am okay with him not contacting me back. Before I started this process I was sure that if one or neither of my birthparents wanted to talk to me I would be destroyed and crushed, but I'm not. I realize now that this process has made me stronger. I now reach out and talk more with my dad and stepmom (still hate that term). I am happy, I am healthy, and I am loved, what more could I want or need.
In other news, one of my birthmother's sister (still not sure what to call them) is coming to Nashville this summer and she wants to meet me!!! Insane. I am excited and nervous. What do I say, what do I do when I meet her? Do we shake hands, do we hug? What do I call her? Is this better in public or private? So many questions going through my head. Sometimes they are overwhelming and then I remember that it is still a ways off and that it will be natural, what will be will be.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Little Changes

So it has been awhile since my last post. I have spent a lot of time processing and thinking. Trying to put everything I have felt or thought into words is impossible. Other then the one phone call with my birthmother I have not talked to her. It isn't that I don't want to it is that I don't know what to say or what to ask. She is a great person and was so nice to talk to and her sisters that I have connected with on facebook are great as well. I just feel like I have disrupted their lives and don't want to disrupt it anymore. I am planning on trying to find more on my birthfather and will be asking the women for more information.
Since my last post I have told my dad about everything and he and my stepmom, Sheila, have been just as supportive as my mom and they have all been wonderful. Sheila asked me about it at Thanksgiving and my dad asked about it some to. I was so scared to tell my dad because I didn't want to hurt him, but once I finally told him I realized that by waiting to tell him I only hurt/cheated myself out of the support of him and Sheila.
So for right now I am content.