So after letting the fact that I had a difficult time getting a hold of the court clerk in Kansas derail me; I am back on track. I let myself feel that I wasn't suppose to find my birth family because I was having such a hard time getting information from court. Yesterday I decided I was no longer going to let myself get side tracked. I called the court house and after holding for 10 minutes got all the information. I faxed a letter with the details that I knew and the details that I needed along with copies of my marriage license/certificate, drivers license and social security card. The lady on the phone told me to fax it to Gail and that she would contact me for the next step. I am not sure what I am feeling. I wasn't scared or happy or sad. It was just sending another fax. It wasn't like I expected it to feel, I expected to feel something, anything, but instead I felt nothing. Maybe this is a good thing, or maybe it is just that faxing the request doesn't mean anything now, but when the request is filled then I will feel something.
In other news I have started to share what I am doing with more people and they are so positive. I was so surprised that there have been no negative comments and just genuine concern that no one wants to see me get hurt. It is such a great feeling to know that I have so much support on this journey. Thanks to everyone!