Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Update on life and ponderings.

Hello all! It has been a while but it has been hard to write. The holidays have been amazing and interesting. My birthday is always right around Thanksgiving and so I usually get to visit my family close to my birthday. Usually my dad takes me out for my birthday with my family, but this year he and I met up for lunch. My dad knew I had made contact with my birthmother and was excited for me, but we had not spoken much about it. Having lunch with my dad one-on-one was amazing we were able to talk about so much stuff. We talked about the progress I had made making contact with my birth family, the struggles I had experienced, and he opened up about what he was experiencing, feeling and thinking during all of the process. It was so nice to hear things from his perspective. The rest of the holidays were great and I am looking forward to what the New Year brings.

In other news the holidays brought the announcements of multiple pregnencies as well as baby shower invites. I am so excited for these girls and their families. Over the weekend my friend Tiff and I went to look at a friend's registry and I fell in love with some of the adorable baby stuff and the thought of planning for my own baby. Then I went home and realized that I love talking about planning for a baby someday, but I am still fine not being pregnant or trying to start a baby. This is a weird feeling. I have always known I wanted to be a mom but hubby and I have always been on the 10 yr plan (6 yrs in). The feeling that I am not craving a baby makes me nervous that I no longer have a desire to be a mom. I love children and spending time with them and playing with them. I know my parents were 25 and 26 before they adopted me and they have always taught me not to rush into things and I am hoping that this lack of a craving is just because I know the hubby and I have a plan and my parents teaching me not to rush life.
Sorry for the rambling, it is just easier to write it all then speak it out loud. To anyone that reads this that are friends or family that have children or are expecting know that I love your children and would do anything within my means for them and will love to watch our children play together.

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